What Does 2 Samuel 13:20 Mean?
And Absalom her brother said to her, Has Amnon your brother been with you? But settle now, my sister. He is your brother. Do not set your heart to this word. So Tamar remained stunned in her brother Absalom's house.
Key words are shown with the Hebrew or Greek and what each word meant.
Selah Decoded Version The Selah Decoded Version renders what the Hebrew and Greek words meant to the people who first heard them.
King James wording
King James Version
And Absalom her brother said unto her, Hath Amnon thy brother been with thee? but hold now thy peace, my sister: he is thy brother; regard not this thing. So Tamar remained desolate in her brother Absalom’s house.THE KEY
The KJV’s “hold thy peace” is a command to be silent (הַחֲרִישִׁי, hacharishi), while שָׁלוֹם (shalom, wholeness) lives inside Absalom’s name, and Tamar remains desolate after her rape.
THE MEANING
When harm is followed by “he is thy brother” and “regard not this thing,” the injury does not disappear; kinship language cannot make it smaller. Tamar is left carrying the aftermath in her brother’s house, where the verse names her desolation instead of claiming silence has healed her.
WHAT THIS UNDOES
It undoes the belief that calling the offender family makes the harm less real, or that silence restores wholeness.
THE ROOT
שָׁלוֹם
shalom
GROWS FROM
שׁלם
to be whole, complete, or intact
Absalom’s name, אַבְשָׁלוֹם (Avshalom), contains שָׁלוֹם (shalom, wholeness), but the command rendered “hold thy peace” is הַחֲרִישִׁי (hacharishi, be silent), from a different root. English makes the words sound alike; Hebrew exposes the difference between wholeness and imposed silence.
ALSO GROWS
shalem: whole, complete, intact
שָׁלֵם
This branch shows the wholeness carried by shalom, the meaning inside Absalom’s name.
shillem: repay, make good, restore
שִׁלֵּם
The root also reaches toward making something whole again, which Tamar’s enforced silence does not accomplish.
שֹׁמֵמָה
shomemah
GROWS FROM
שׁמם
to be desolate, devastated, or appalled
“stunned” in this verse is shomemah. This root names both desolation and being appalled at devastation, carrying shock and ruin alongside aloneness. The verse’s final description of Tamar is not silence but devastation.
ALSO GROWS
shemamah: desolation, wasteland
שְׁמָמָה
The related noun makes desolation a state of devastation, not merely a feeling of solitude.
shamem: to be desolate or appalled
שָׁמֵם
This branch holds the stunned response to ruin inside the word used for Tamar’s condition.
לַדָּבָר הַזֶּה
ladavar hazeh
GROWS FROM
דבר
to speak; a word, matter, or thing
Hebrew uses דָּבָר (davar) for both a spoken word and a matter or thing: Tamar’s harm is called “this davar” while she is told not to set her heart on it. Speech and the event are held together in the word, sharpening the conflict over whether the harm can be named.
ALSO GROWS
davar: word, matter, thing
דָּבָר
The verse calls what happened “this matter” with a word that also means a spoken word.
dibber: he spoke
דִּבֵּר
This verb shares the root, linking the matter being dismissed with the speech that frames it.
THE PATTERN
When suffering is met with distance or dismissive words, a person can remain alone inside the relationships meant to hold them.
My lovers and my friends stand back from my stroke, and my nearest stand far off.If a brother or sister is naked, and left without the nourishment of the day, And one of you says to them, Go in wholeness, be warmed and filled, but you do not give them what the body needs. What is the profit?THE THREAD
The roads of Zion mourn, for none come to the appointed gatherings. All her gates stand emptied. Her priests groan, her virgins ache, and she tastes bitter.Tamar’s “desolate” comes from שׁמם (sh-m-m), the same root used here for Zion’s gates being desolate. That shared root lets the word carry the weight of devastation as well as personal isolation.
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